The Emotionally Intelligent Boss: What’s your’s Like?
66An emotionally intelligent boss is not perfect, yet he or she comes pretty close when their behavior is driven by emotional intelligent competencies. The emotionally intelligent boss demonstrates competency is four domains as explained in the book Primal Leadership by Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis, and Annie McKee (2002). These four domains are self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. Within these four domains are core competencies that, when applied, drive a boss to behave with emotional intelligence in everyday situations and during a crisis.
The first two domains, self-awareness and self-management, focus on developing our personal competence or how we manage ourselves. Some of the core competencies within these two domains include self-confidence and optimism.
The third and fourth domains, social awareness and relationship management, focus on social competence or how we manage relationships. Core competencies include empathy, developing others, teamwork and collaboration.
All four domains and competencies innately drive the emotionally intelligent boss. The emotionally intelligent (EI) boss does things like regularly gives you feedback of your job performance in a manner that is motivating and positive. The EI boss communicates effectively in one-on-one and group situations. They are honest. Most of all, your gut tells you when you have a genuine EI boss.
However, most of us have had to deal at one time or another with the emotionally UNintelligent boss. Characteristics of this boss include yelling, belittling (they think this will motivate you), focusing on short-term results, management-by-fear (this will keep you in-line), and many have an ego that requires constant stroking. These characteristics represent a small percentage of how an emotionally UNintelligent boss acts.
What Has Been Your Experience?
Based on the brief descriptions of an emotionally intelligent and an UNintelligent boss, tell us what you have experience. What are some of the characteristics you’ve observed? How have you dealt with the UNintelligent boss? By sharing your experiences, it will help me continue my research on emotional intelligence at work. Thanks for sharing!
CommentsLoading...
My one boss needs constant ego stroking. She's on every committee under the sun, overextends herself and complains that she has to be the one to do it all. She makes "team" decisions but they are really her decisions and often times they do not make any sense to any one else. If you question her, you are shunned to the ground, belittled and berated. She will tell you that you are next to nothing compared to her experienced self. She is verbally savvy and will drag your name through the mud for her benefit.
My other boss is self-reflective but also has a switch. If you catch her at a stressful moment, she will derail you and make you seem close to insignificant. She will say things like you are the "bottom of the barrel" and you should keep your head down, mouth shut and do as she says. She makes you fear her and thrives off the fear. Yet she loves you when you are working your butt off for her benefit. She wants you to be her spy.
Unfortunately the two above are in conflict and I am stuck in the middle. Urgh.
Makiwa 2 years ago
My boss tries to impress her peers by grabbing and running with snippits of information that she not only does not understand but does not ask questions. She then yells at everyone because she looks like an idiot. Chastises people in front of others because quote 'I have to be seen to be fixing the problem'. Throws tantrims when things go wrong 'Leave me alone, I wish everyone would leave me alone' while swiping everything off her desk onto the floor. Realising that she will look a fool in the morning because of a bad reaction to a situation - she panics. Goes to work at 3 am, arguing with security to get in the building so ahe can remove notes on a whiteboard before anyone else gets to work. She is unstable as far as I am concerned but the guys up in the ivory tower do not see the day to day irrational behavour.